December 2008
66 posts
Happy New Year
Happy New Year ladies. Thank you all so much for your support, advice, and love in the past month. I hope that I can offer the same to those who may need it over the coming year.
xoxo
Two Weeks Later
It’s been two weeks since my abortion and I’m feeling back to normal. The cramps went away completely about four days ago (just in time for Christmas!) and I stopped bleeding right around the same time. My boyfriend and I had sex again for the first time in more than three weeks on Saturday night and it was great ( a little under two weeks after the procedure, which is what my doctor...
One Week Later
It’s been exactly one week (almost to the minute) and I’m still doing really well. The serious cramping started up on Friday and hasn’t let up. In fact, last night was probably the worst all week. Today it’s still cramping, but not as bad as yesterday. The bleeding is about the same as a normal period, except that since I can only use pads it’s a lot more...
Better!
Feeling a lot better now. I took a nap with the heating pad and some advil and it seems to have passed for now. I even had time to do a bunch of prep for the party tomorrow. Definitely feeling in better spirits and looking forward to a busy (but fun) day tomorrow!
Ughhh
Screw the “uterine massage.” I’m downing Advil.
“A woman has strengths that amaze me, she can handle trouble and carry heavy...”
– Unknown (via overflowing) (via frannyandzooey) (via singlescoop)
More Uterus Updates
So I’m starting to think that scheduling the abortion and the cocktail party five days apart was maybe not a brilliant idea. I would have loved another week to recover a bit and to maybe shed some of this water weight. My googling has shown that the cramping is just from my uterus going back to it’s normal un-pregnant size. I read about a “uterine massage” online that can...
Blast...
Just when I thought I’d hit some kind of recovery jackpot, I got hit with a dose of bad cramps today. Still not as awful as my usual period cramps, but strong and persistent enough that I can’t just ignore them. I popped 500mg of maximum strength Midol (it was the only thing I had sitting on my desk at work) and am hoping that it’ll kick in quickly. The bleeding is still all but...
Is this normal?
It’s been three days since the abortion and I *still* have to pee all the time. If I wait even a minute, I start to get dizzy and the urgency is way too much. In the mornings, I take off running for the bathroom the second I wake up. Is this normal? Do I still just have too much HCG in my system? Because I think that this is probably one of the most annoying pregnancy symptoms ever and am...
Two Days After
It’s been about 48 hours since the procedure and I’m still doing really well. My moods have really regulated since then. Almost instantly, actually. I suffered from horrific mood swings the entire time I was pregnant, but now I feel normal again! My bleeding is practically non-existant—just a bit of brown (old blood) spotting when I wipe. I read that it can start out that way and...
Guest blog
Yesterday the awesome folks at Choice USA posted a guest blog that I wrote for them in their organization blog. You can read the post here: http://www.choiceusa.org/index.php?option=com_jd-wp&Itemid=80&p=885
Be sure to check out their site because it is awesome and has lots of great information about reproductive health and politics for women.
Un-Expecting's Super Abortion Checklist for...
I’ve put together a long checklist of things that will definitely make your abortion experience a lot easier. I’ve tried to be as thorough as possible, but if you can think of anything else that you’d like to add from your own personal experience, please e-mail me or leave it in the comments and I’ll be sure to add.
**Please note that I am not a doctor and that nothing on...
Not Guilty
One of the things that scared and worried me about this whole process was how I would feel about it afterwards. I was concerned that I’d suddenly hit with a huge wave of guilt about having gone through with the abortion.
I haven’t really talked about it much (if at all), but I think I should mention that while I’m by no means a super religious person, I do consider myself a...
Post-Abortion update
Oh my gosh I am feeling SO gassy and bloated. Nice, huh? I Googled it and apparently this is totally normal after the abortion. And, for some reason I’m only craving salty or starchy things, which isn’t really helping the bloat. I’m going to try and cut down on the starches next week to see if I can get back to semi-normal by this weekend.
Fortunately I don’t have any...
What the abortion felt like
It started out much like any gynocological exam. Naked from the waist down, I pushed down to the edge of the table with my feet in the stirrups. My boyfriend sat in a chair next to me and held my hand the whole time. I think this was definitely the best part of it. I’m so happy that he was able to be there with me and think that all women going through this should have the opportunity to...
All done!
I’m back from the hospital in France, everyone! I have to say that as far as minor surgical procedures go, this was pretty great experience. I’m feeling really good right now. My cramps are gone and though there is a little bleeding, it isn’t that uncomfortable. Also the nausea and boob tenderness have gone away, which is a little miracle in itself.
I’m trying to figure...
Today is the day!
Well, it’s abortion day! I actually slept through the night although I had all sorts of weird abortion-getting dreams about hospitals waiting rooms. In the morning I called out sick from work and boyfriend and I giggled about it for a bit. I went with “stomach bug” but was tempted to say “Can’t come in today because I’m getting an abortion.” Man, I really...
Future possibilities???
Have been thinking that I might want to turn this experience into an article of some kind for a publication of some kind. Would want to do it anonymously of course so will need to first figure out how that works and how to go about it. Hmm…
Uggggggg
The nausea is hitting again. Boyfriend is making me some yummy ginger tea and I’m watching YouTube videos to distract myself…
The day before
After a delicious breakfast of bagels, eggs, and lox, boyfriend ran out to pick up the supplies I’d need for tomorrow and on (pads in different strengths, a big bottle of Advil, and a thermometer). The thermometer is for taking my temperature every day this week after the surgery to make sure that I’m not developing an infection. I’m home in my pajamas watching In Her Shoes for...
And this morning...
I woke up and for a second thought it was Monday and I got nervous. But then I remembered I still have a whole day left. And I went back to sleep feeling much calmer.
At the dinner table?
Sorry I’ve been so quiet today! We hosted my boyfriend’s parents for dinner and it was quite the day. Somehow abortion came up as the main conversation at dinner. And no, they do not know that I’m about to have one on Monday. Am super exhausted and in a lot of pain from being on my feet all day cooking, so the stories will have to wait. I’ll be back soon to tell you more...
“I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of...”
– Marilyn Monroe (via kristenisfornerd) (via maybe-not)
Some other awesome blogger ladies!
I’m not the only girl getting an abortion and blogging about it. Here are two others you should definitely check out, plus an incredible blog by women who actually work at an abortion clinic and deal with this issue every day:
Blog by a girl who chose to get her abortion the medical way (taking the abortion pill): http://prochoiceabortionblog.blogspot.com/
Blog by a girl with a wicked...
Smile!
Just got a note from another girl who literally *just* got back from her procedure and she said it went really well. I’m so happy that she had a good experience and it’s given me a bit more confidence for mine. I loved the awesome phrase she used to describe the way it felt (local anesthesia and a Valium cocktail). She said it was like having her “period on time-lapse...
One bad apple
“Excuse me…excuse me,” I said loudly to nobody in particular as I clutched my head. “I’m dizzy I think I need to sit down.”
I don’t like standing on the train. On the best of non-pregnant days it makes me feel a little hot and dizzy, but right now it is definitely not the time to spend 15 minutes on a hot, stuffy train standing much too close to cranky...
Where is my glow?!
I’m just going to come out and say it. This unwanted pregnancy is making me look really ugly. I’m serious. I look terrible right now. I really do. I’m puffy and bloaty and my face is pale. I keep getting breakouts. I can’t be bothered to do much more with my hair than brush it back into a ponytail. And I’ve been wearing no makeup and my “comfy” jeans and...
And the moods just keep on swinging!
This really is like the world’s worst PMS!
This morning I woke up feeling fine and determined to be nice today. I feel like I’ve been acting like a madwoman all week and my poor wonderful boyfriend has really been getting the brundt of it. I’m glad that we live together though because if he weren’t around all the time, I’d probably be wallowing and the house would be...
Sex and sleep
I’m feeling much better this morning than I was last night. I could barely fall asleep last night; I kept tossing and turning and trying to find a not uncomfortable position. BF waited it out patiently, accommodating himself to whatever space I left after each of my flips. I fell asleep, finally, and dreamt odd dreams about doctor’s appointments, blood tests, and babies. These dreams...
Angry and Silent
Why won’t he ask me anything about it? If it were him feeling sick or upset or whatever, I’d be googling the hell out of it trying to figure out things. I feel like he’s just kind of waiting around, following my lead when I want HIM to take the lead. Look stuff up. Ask me about it. Don’t act like it’s some giant elephant in the room. He’s the only person that...
Comments
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Eating for One
Before all this (she says, with a general sweep of her hand), I was careful about carbs. I avoided pasta and white flour and things that were too sugary. I know my body and I know how those foods make me feel (and look). The funny thing is that ever since the pregnancy symptoms hit, I’ve been craving these things full-force.
This evening my boyfriend went out to the gym while I lay on the...
Oh the morning/afternoon/night sickness
It’s been terrible today. I was perfectly fine this morning and then boom! just like that it hit me. I keep glancing over to my trash can just to make sure it’s close by in case I need to puke. I think I’m going to have to bite the bullet and get a packet of saltines to deal with this.
Oh and to make matters worth, the secretary came by my desk earlier to hand me something and...
Grrrr
Boyfriend is complaining that his big lunch is making him sleepy. Is “Yeah? So? And I’m pregnant.” an appropriate response?
Some helpful abortion resources online
A really awesome reader wrote in to share her story and to tell me about some great and helpful links that I wanted to post so that if any of you are in the same position you can also check them out. I left her notes with them:
http://www.prochoiceconnection.com/index.html This one is Canadian in focus, but offers lots of good info and support. I especially love their page on Mizuko Kiyo .
...
False Alarm
Had a bit of a scare earlier. I was sitting at my desk when I started feeling that distinct drippy feeling I usually associate with my period. I’m sure you know it; that moment when it starts to come out a bit? I got nervous and rushed to the bathroom to check all the while wondering if I was miscarrying or—worse—spotting because of ectopic pregnancy. I’ve been having these...
“There’s nothing scary about choice. Scary is when you don’t have...”
– I Wrote This For You: The Things We Decide
Preparation
I’m planning on calling the clinic where I made my appointment to check up on the whole anesthesia/sedation situation. The woman on the phone told me it would be local, not general so that I can eat beforehand and she told me to take some OTC painkillers two hours before coming in. She didn’t mention anything about sedation, which I’d really like so I’m going to call again...
Connections
I finished reading that article I mentioned earlier and one thing that struck me about it is how I’m not able to connect the idea of being pregnant with myself. I watch the office temp with her bulging bump and for some reason I can’t seem to draw a straight line between the two of us. We are two pregnant women experiencing similar symptoms and yet we are different. It’s probably...
Brain, please let me forget
I read the article in the NY Times today about the woman who hired a surrogate to have her child. I’m going to stay out of the politics and implications of this to call attention to the paragraph that grabbed my eye. It’s early on in the essay when she is describing her failed attempt to carry the child herself. At one point she succeeded, only for the fetus to die in her uterus at ten...
No babymaking.
Found this on another blog and it made me giggle:
dominic: have you made a baby yet
sabine: I don't know how to make a baby
dominic: really. wow. i though all girls just knew that sort of thing. with other things like cleaning and skipping
sabine: I skipped the day that we learned babymaking in class
dominic: clever.
sabine: I was having an abortion
dominic: omg. you win.
Chocolate Chip Cookie Cravings
I was intensely craving chocolate chip cookies last night so I asked boyfriend to make me some. I was joking when I asked, but he took it seriously and said that if I gave him a recipe, he would. I wanted some that were extra soft and chewy so I suggested a recipe that contained molasses and off he went to the kitchen to bake them. About 30 minutes later he came back with a plate of warm, giant...
"Complications"
My dreams have always been incredibly vivid. The kinds of dreams that stay with you and go through and through you and just color your entire day. Since I got pregnant they’ve just become all the more so. Before I started the blog I was having scary abortion clinic dreams. I was (am still) freaked that something would go wrong. I realize that’s incredibly unlikely but it seems like...
The peeing thing
I have to go ALL the time now. It’s ridiculous how often I pee. Even if I haven’t had that much to drink during the day I still feel a major urge and find myself running to the bathroom a couple times an hour.
I Googled it (like I Google all these crazy pregnancy symptoms) and found out that the reason for all the extra peeing is due to an increase in fluids in our bodies due to...
The Taboo
friponnerie:
“Isn’t this the truth? I have several girlfriends who have been through this experience and it’s so strange when you realize it’s something they go through, telling very few people, if anyone at all. And then you find out later “it happened to them.” You go through most medical procedures with the support of everyone you know. Why not this one?”
I love that last...
