15th
And I’m still OK
I figured it was time for a check-in. I know women keep coming through this blog every day. Some of you send me emails. Some of you leave comments. If you ever have questions, please don’t hesitate to send them to me. If today is your first day here and you’re totally freaking out, that’s OK. I was totally freaking out when I was in your shoes too. And everything turned out OK. It really did. I promise.
It’s been about a year and a half since my abortion. My health is fine. My weight went back to normal (well, normal for me. I think I’m destined to perpetually flip flop between a 10 and a 12.)
My boyfriend and I are still together. Actually, we just got engaged in a few months ago so we’re planning our wedding now. I’m 27; I’ll be 28 by the time we get married. I’d like to wait a year before we have our first child together. I’ll be about 29. We’ll be ready for him or her in a way we weren’t a year and a half ago.
My health is fine. I still use Nuvaring though I don’t love it. It’s easier for me to remember though and that gives me a peace of mind that is invaluable.
In New York City, they started running these ads on the subways that I really don’t like. They’re ads that depict abortion as something damaging that will RUIN YOUR LIFE. They say things like “I wish we hadn’t done it. Everything is different now.” or “I didn’t think I’d feel so bad. I regret it more than anything” or something along those lines. I’m sure those are true for some people, but I think it’s for the women (and men) who weren’t really secure in the decision before they did it. The ones who maybe were coerced or who didn’t really research and read all about it. Perhaps the ones who did it even though they didn’t really want to. Those are the ones that I think regret it. Those are the people I think shouldn’t do it.
That is NOT my experience. I don’t regret it. I am glad I did it. I don’t think about it every day. It doesn’t haunt me. I don’t even remember exactly what day it was. I felt back to myself almost instantly after it and I went on with my life. With work and with friends and with pursuing all of my many, many dreams and goals. My fiance and I have a great relationship. This didn’t tear us apart; if anything, it brought us even closer together. It showed us that we could get through things together.
This did not define me and it won’t define you. It will be a moment. A day. A few weeks if you include the crampiness while you’re recovering. And then you’ll go on with your life and you’ll keep doing the things you love; maybe a little bit smarter about choices like birth control, but otherwise you’ll be OK. As long as you know for sure that this is what YOU want (not your boyfriend or mom or friends or doctor, but YOU), and as long as you go about it in a safe way), you’ll be OK.
I promise.
